{"id":3151,"date":"2019-02-11T03:30:10","date_gmt":"2019-02-11T09:30:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/andreajoywenburg.com\/?p=3151"},"modified":"2019-02-11T05:48:06","modified_gmt":"2019-02-11T11:48:06","slug":"how-to-find-your-purpose-and-make-it-happen-with-kim-gravel","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/andreajoywenburg.com\/how-to-find-your-purpose-and-make-it-happen-with-kim-gravel\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Find Your Purpose and Make it Happen with Kim Gravel"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Kim Gravel is a veteran tv host, entrepreneur, public speaker, and life coach who\u2019s appeared on The Steve Harvey Show and was regularly featured on SiriusXM\u2019s Dirty Pop with Lance Bass. Through her own hit show, Kim of Queens, she was able to entertain audiences with her quick wit and vivacious storytelling. In just two years, Kim was able to build her business from nothing to a $60 million success.<\/p>\n<p>In this episode, Kim shares the core purpose of her message, how her voice was always as strong and confident as it is today, the value of communication, why helping others with self-expression is a large part of what Kim does in her work, why you need to quit preparing and start doing, the importance of being passionate about what you do, and so much more!<\/p>\n<p>Mentioned in this episode:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/kimgravel.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Kim Gravel&#8217;s Website<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><\/figure>\n<h2>Play here (the red triangle below), on<span style=\"color: #800000;\"> <a href=\"https:\/\/itunes.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/voiceofinfluences-podcast\/id1223799516\">iTunes<\/a>, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.stitcher.com\/s?fid=135618&amp;refid=stpr\">Stitcher<\/a> or <a href=\"https:\/\/tunein.com\/radio\/Voice-of-Influence-Personal-Branding-p1009849\/\">TuneIn Radio<\/a> <\/span>(Amazon Alexa) or wherever you listen to podcasts.<\/h2>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-3152 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/andreajoywenburg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Kim-78-FB.jpg?resize=760%2C422\" alt=\"\" width=\"760\" height=\"422\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/andreajoywenburg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Kim-78-FB.jpg?w=810&amp;ssl=1 810w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/andreajoywenburg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Kim-78-FB.jpg?resize=300%2C167&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/andreajoywenburg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Kim-78-FB.jpg?resize=768%2C427&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/andreajoywenburg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Kim-78-FB.jpg?resize=760%2C422&amp;ssl=1 760w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/andreajoywenburg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Kim-78-FB.jpg?resize=518%2C288&amp;ssl=1 518w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/andreajoywenburg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Kim-78-FB.jpg?resize=82%2C46&amp;ssl=1 82w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/andreajoywenburg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Kim-78-FB.jpg?resize=600%2C333&amp;ssl=1 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 760px) 100vw, 760px\" \/><\/p>\n<figure><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: none;\" src=\"\/\/html5-player.libsyn.com\/embed\/episode\/id\/8597903\/height\/90\/theme\/custom\/thumbnail\/yes\/direction\/backward\/render-playlist\/no\/custom-color\/ad2c30\/\" width=\"100%\" height=\"90\" scrolling=\"no\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/figure>\n<h2>Transcript<\/h2>\n<p>Hey, hey!\u00a0 It&#8217;s Andrea and welcome to the Voice of Influence podcast.<\/p>\n<p>Oh my goodness, you guys, today is a treat!\u00a0 We have Kim Gravel, who is a veteran TV host, entrepreneur, public speaker, and life coach.\u00a0 She was booked on The Steve Harvey Show and was regularly featured on SiriusXM Radio Show, Dirty Pop with Lance Bass.<\/p>\n<p>And through her own hit show \u201cKim of Queens,\u201d Kim was able to entertain audiences with her quick wit and vivacious storytelling.\u00a0 Indeed, I know, and you\u2019re going to experience it.\u00a0 Her Passion for people was made obvious onscreen as her unexpected depth and genuine heart helped her clients find confidence and self-love.<\/p>\n<p>For her newest venture, Kim has partnered with retail giant QVC to launch the Belle by Kim Gravel apparel line and Belle Beauty Cosmetic line.\u00a0 And in just two years, Kim was able to build her business from nothing to a $60 million success.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0Kim, it is so good to have you with us here on the Voice of Influence podcast.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel<\/strong>:\u00a0 Oh, so exciting.\u00a0 I love it.\u00a0I love Voice of influence.\u00a0 What a fantastic title, right?\u00a0 Because we all have an influence, so, you know, and we all have a voice so people just don\u2019t get that.\u00a0 So I love the title of this podcast.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0Awesome.\u00a0 Thank you.\u00a0 I love it too.\u00a0 It felt like it was like this, I don\u2019t know, handed to me or something, you know.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel<\/strong>:\u00a0 Yeah.\u00a0Uh-hmm.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0OK, so Kim, I know that you\u2019re really driven by purpose and mission and your message, so could you share with us kind of what you\u2019re all about, I guess.\u00a0 What is the purpose and message, the core of your message?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, I think my particular message has been what it\u2019s always been.\u00a0 It has evolved, it\u2019s changed, it has had many faces, it\u2019s taken many turns, and manifested in many different ways.\u00a0 But for me, it\u2019s about knowing the \u2018why you\u2019re here\u2019 and \u2018what are you going to do about it.\u2019\u00a0 You know what I\u2019m saying?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think some get it at a very early age, most people never get it, and some of us are trying to get it on a daily basis and some of us, it\u2019s just a journey.\u00a0 But when you can figure out the why you are here then you can get onto what are you going to do about it because everybody has a purpose.\u00a0 And that\u2019s such a self-help guru type, you know, answer but it\u2019s just the truth.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m a straight shooter, so I\u2019ll just tell you straight up, you weren\u2019t here, you weren\u2019t put on the earth just to take up space, there\u2019s a reason.\u00a0 And you can call it whatever you want to, super spiritual, super new ages, super\u2026whatever they\u2019re labeling it today.\u00a0 But that\u2019s just the heart of it and I think everybody is always searching for that.\u00a0 People say, you know, \u201cUhh, people are searching for love.\u00a0 People are searching for self-worth.\u201d\u00a0 No, people are searching for \u2018why am I here?\u2019<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah.\u00a0All the other stuff that\u2019s just add-ons, you know, what I\u2019m saying?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea<\/strong>:\u00a0Uh-hmm.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 And so for me, helping people see that or helping people even understand that that is why they\u2019re here is what the message is.\u00a0 It\u2019s so difficult but so simple at the same time because for me, I found out what that was.\u00a0 I was doing that.\u00a0 You\u2019re always doing your purpose.\u00a0 You just never can define it.\u00a0 You know what, I\u2019m saying?\u00a0 It\u2019s everything you never thought you always wanted.\u00a0 That\u2019s what purpose is, you know.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s everything; you never thought of, that you always wanted.\u00a0 And so, you know, that to me is everything and that\u2019s the \u2018why\u2019 behind everything I do.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0OK, so usually I find that that when people are driven by such a strong, you know, purpose like that, it\u2019s personal.\u00a0So is there anything that, you know, any stories that really connect you personally to why you care so much about that?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah, because when I was young I just remember, you know, because back then, back in the day, because now I could say I\u2019m middle age, which I can\u2019t believe I\u2019m saying that out loud but it\u2019s the truth.\u00a0 But back in the day when I was a kid, and like my children who were 9 and 11, when I was sitting in my bedroom, we didn\u2019t have video games and iPhones in distractions.<\/p>\n<p>So I would sit for hours on end and line my stuffed animals up on my bed and either sing to them or talk to them or communicate with them because, you know, girlfriend didn\u2019t have a lot of friends at the time.\u00a0 My parents moved a lot.\u00a0 And so for me, I had to entertain myself.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t have a sibling yet.\u00a0 I just remember those days and I knew that I was meant for something at a very young age.<\/p>\n<p>I grew up in the church.\u00a0 I grew up with very strong, encouraging parents.\u00a0 But I would stop and take the time as a young kid and listen to that still small voice that would speak to me, the inner me and say \u201cThere\u2019s something out there for you, there\u2019s something out there.\u201d\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t distracted.\u00a0 You know, we didn\u2019t have the distractions back then.<\/p>\n<p>So for me, I can remember a specific time, I was riding in my mom\u2019s brown Malibu car and back then we don\u2019t have to wear seat belts and I would chew on the back seats.\u00a0 I know I had an oral thing, \u201cDon\u2019t talk to me about that right now.\u201d\u00a0 Well, I would sit there and I would daydream and dream.\u00a0And I would tell my mom about all these dreams and my mom either she wasn\u2019t listening or, you know, she just let me talk either way and I would just say it.<\/p>\n<p>And I remember one time coming home, I think it was from, we called it Richway, I think it\u2019s now Target.\u00a0 But back in the days, it was called Richway, it was a department store.\u00a0 And I was eating a slushy my mom had got me, and I said to myself and I said it loud, I said \u201cMom, I\u2019m made to sing or talk to people.\u201d\u00a0And I remember my mom going, \u201cWell that is true, you can run your mouth.\u201d\u00a0 Only my mom could do it and that hit me and it stuck with me now.\u00a0 That has taken on so many different forms, so many different ways.\u00a0 But I truly believe, if you could trace back to when you were young, your purpose will be there.<\/p>\n<p>See, a lot of people are trying to get over their past or they\u2019re trying to\u2026a lot of people have gone through hard times and struggles, but all of that is locked into that purpose.\u00a0 There\u2019s a \u2018why\u2019 you went through that and there was a reason behind it.\u00a0 But we get hung up on what happened to us instead of what can happen through us.\u00a0 For me, I clearly remember the moment.\u00a0 I remember that period of my life where I knew and then the real work and frustration and hail began.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0OK.\u00a0 I was hoping you were going to say that because, oh my goodness, because I really felt\u2026I remember feeling some of those similar things and especially we share a passion for both speaking and singing.\u00a0 I remember, I actually watched the song that you sing, you sang Phantom of the Opera.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh God, help me.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0And you\u2019re in the Miss Georgia competition, oh my gosh, it was great.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, the only reason I would demonstrate, you know, I wanted to have scholarship money and I want to be heard.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 I love your &#8220;Voice of Influence.&#8221; \u00a0I wanted my voice to be heard.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea<\/strong>:\u00a0Yes, yes!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel<\/strong>:\u00a0 You know what I\u2019m saying?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0Yeah, I do.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s everybody.\u00a0 That\u2019s everybody on the planet, you know, so for me, that was just a way for my voice to be heard.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0Did you ever struggle with the fact that, I mean, you have a really strong voice.\u00a0 At least at this point, you\u2019re very confident.\u00a0 You\u2019re not afraid to say it.\u00a0 You know, like you said, you\u2019re a straight shooter. Was that ever something that you held back?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea<\/strong>:\u00a0OK, why?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 As a woman, can you imagine as a southern blonde or at that point I was probably live brunette.\u00a0 God fearing Christian Bible belt big mouth girl, are you freaking kidding me?\u00a0 I would go to church where you\u2019re supposed to be I loved and cared for.\u00a0 And let me tell you something, I\u2019m a strong believer.\u00a0 I still go to church.\u00a0 I love God, everything.\u00a0 But those early years, I was told, you know, be seen, not heard.\u00a0 I was told you just get married and have kids.\u00a0 And I thought, \u201cMy Lord, why would God give me this voice?\u00a0 Give me this passion; give me this preaching quality&#8230;\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m saying that in air quotes as I\u2019m talking to you \u201c\u2026and not be able to use it?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea<\/strong>:\u00a0Oh I do.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel<\/strong>:\u00a0 I went through all of that.\u00a0 You know what I\u2019m saying?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0Yes!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 I went through all of that.\u00a0 I\u2019m still going through that to some degree.\u00a0 There\u2019s sometimes I still have to say, \u201cYou know, I\u2019m pretty much not going to do that,\u201d and slide that piece of paper and say, \u201cWe\u2019re not going to do that deal.\u00a0 I\u2019m better than that.\u201d\u00a0 But I still go through them.\u00a0 I\u2019m like, \u201cI hope if I slide the paper over and they say no and I\u2019m rejected.\u201d\u00a0 And then, you know, especially as women, and I\u2019m sorry I\u2019m a woman, I\u2019m pro woman.\u00a0 I think women run the world.\u00a0 I think we are the backbone, the neck bone, the tailbone, you know, leg bone, you know, we\u2019d make it happen and I live with three men so I can say that confidently.<\/p>\n<p>But yeah, the doubt, the insecurity, the \u201cI\u2019m not enough\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m just a girl\u201d or \u201cYou\u2019re not smart.\u201d\u00a0 Oh God, if I could write down how many times someone has assumed that I was unintelligent based on whatever, fill in the blank.\u00a0 And you know what; let me take this right now.\u00a0 I know somebody as dumb as hell, now I must say dumb as hell.\u00a0 I almost say it when they think I am.\u00a0 When someone meets me and it takes them a month, two months, six months, a year to figure out I\u2019m intelligent then they\u2019re stupid, not me.\u00a0 You know what I&#8217;m saying?\u00a0 So that\u2019s what I want to say to people.<\/p>\n<p>A lot of people are having all this expectations, all of this in the box thinking about what they should be and what they shouldn\u2019t be.\u00a0 I see the school system with my children, it\u2019s such a frustrating thing and they\u2019re the ones that don\u2019t have it together.\u00a0 And so for me, yes, the struggle has been long.\u00a0 I still struggle.\u00a0 I laid in bed yesterday.\u00a0 I\u2019ve had a little bit of a cold and watched <em>Charmed<\/em> on Netflix from season one, I\u2019m up to season three now, just because I had this deal just going so wrong and it\u2019s clearly a lack of communication, and I can\u2019t figure out how to make these people understand.<\/p>\n<p>And so I lay in bed all day wanting to get a chocolate cake, but I\u2019m really working on trying to lose weight.\u00a0 But I just lay in bed and watched <em>Charmed<\/em> and thought \u201cThis is never gonna happen.\u00a0These people are never gonna get it.\u00a0This is never gonna happen.\u201d\u00a0 And that still small voice said, \u201cKeep communicating,\u201d because that is the biggest problem we are facing, millennials, us, and everybody is lack of communication and connection.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0Well, do you think that part of that is fear?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, sure!\u00a0Oh girl, you could go ahead and speak on that.\u00a0 Anything based out of fear, being fear motivated, you\u2019re in trouble.\u00a0 Fear insights are the complete opposite.\u00a0 Now, I will say this, I get excited talking about this, doubt, that\u2019s not necessarily a bad thing.\u00a0 I love this line in the song by YouTube it says, <em>I have just enough low self-esteem to get me where I need to go.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>So doubt and a little bit of self-awareness in that way, that\u2019s good.\u00a0Fear, no.\u00a0 OK, because really fear like\u2026my mother has spiritual\u2026\u201cWhat if it snows while we\u2019re on the plane.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWe can\u2019t do about it anyway, honey.\u201d\u00a0 You know, God\u2019s got it.\u00a0 If it\u2019s time, it\u2019s time.\u00a0 If it\u2019s not, it\u2019s not.\u00a0 And she\u2019s not even a fearful person, but just that things we can\u2019t control is what we really fear.\u00a0 The self-doubt and the little bit of insecurities that we have about ourselves that we can\u2019t control and that\u2019s not necessarily always a bad thing.\u00a0 Does that make sense?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 Fear is a myth.\u00a0 It\u2019s not real.\u00a0 Bad things we fear never come pass anyway.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0Right?\u00a0 So much of it is in our own heads and so much of it is a misconception too of what other people are actually thinking.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely, or miscommunication.\u00a0 Again, everything is about communication.\u00a0 Your confidence, like my relationship with God is communication.\u00a0My relationship with my husband is communication.\u00a0 My relationship with my business partners is communication.\u00a0 I mean bad communication could set a whole lifetime off.\u00a0 So that\u2019s why I think what we do, girl, is so powerful.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0OK, so part of what I think we\u2019re both doing, but I\u2019m really wanting to hear more about what you\u2019re doing to do this is helping people express themselves.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 Uh-hmm.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0So, self-expression and I know that Kim of Queens, I mean a lot of that was self-expression.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0Helping pageant girls be able to kind of figure out who they are and what they\u2019re doing with all of the different pieces of the pageant.\u00a0 So tell me more about why self-expression and you helping people with self-expression is so important to you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 OK, because what we teach at schools, what we teach at colleges, what we teach in a lot of times these self-help books or these YouTube videos, what we teach has great self-expression, right?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 Express yourself, be you, do you boo?\u00a0 If I\u2019ve heard that one time, I heard it a thousand and I totally agree with that.\u00a0But then we tell them how to do that based on laws, rules, or regulations.\u00a0 I love it. This little teacher told me this and she said, \u201cYou know, this is not about the theory, _____,\u201d because they go to a private Christian school, have its own ideas but he can\u2019t do this, this, this, this, and this.<\/p>\n<p>OK, well that\u2019s an oxymoron.\u00a0 Those two things cannot exist on the same plane, OK?\u00a0 So what we\u2019re doing is we\u2019re saying to people, \u201cDo you boo?\u201d\u00a0 But then we are censoring it, covering it up, denying it saying \u201cYou don\u2019t fit here, you\u2019re a weirdo.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cYou don\u2019t belong.\u201d\u00a0 And now we have this massive backlash and everybody\u2019s trying to belong to somebody somewhere and you really don\u2019t belong and that is a good thing.<\/p>\n<p>So for me, I will never forget a conversation I had with a very, very powerful agent in New York and I was embarking on the whole QVC thing.\u00a0 And I didn\u2019t want to work with this man because I knew 10 years from now this isn\u2019t going in well because I\u2019m either go kill him or he go kill me.\u00a0 So I remember him saying to me, he said to me and this is where it came to blows, he said to me, \u201cLet me ask you something, Kim, are you able to speak in anything other than southern colloquialisms?\u201d\u00a0 Oh my God.\u00a0 So there he goes.\u00a0 OK, so he took an arrow, took a shotgun and just blew through my heart of everything that makes me who I am, my self-expression, right?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0Yeah, yeah.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel<\/strong>:\u00a0 So we love you to be cute, funny, and say no, _____ on a fire hydrant; we love you to do all that crap, but you\u2019re not good enough to hang with me because you do that.\u00a0So that\u2019s what we do and I knew at that point he\u2019s small.\u00a0 He\u2019s never going to get anything other than what he gets.\u00a0 He\u2019s not going to recognize who I am other than \u201cShe is a size 14 with a big butt, big hair, and a big accent.\u201d\u00a0 He can\u2019t get beyond that.<\/p>\n<p>And that\u2019s how we\u2019re killing self-expression.\u00a0 We\u2019re not supposed to be alike.\u00a0 We\u2019re not supposed to be anything like anybody else.\u00a0 We shouldn\u2019t even _____ or compare ourselves to anybody else because that kills creativity.\u00a0 So to me, self-expression, that\u2019s everything.\u00a0 That\u2019s your DNA.\u00a0 That\u2019s your fingerprint.\u00a0 That\u2019s the one thing no one can take from you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0OK, so how do you look at or how do you approach helping people find their voice?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, it\u2019s different in different ways.\u00a0 I always say this every time I\u2019m on a show or something.\u00a0 I said there\u2019s nobody that can bring out the best in you better than me.\u00a0 They might can do it as good as me but not better.\u00a0 And that is because when I look at an individual, and this has taken a lot of practice, a lot of prayers; I don\u2019t see their race, their color, their weight, their height, their financial status, what they can give me, or what I can give them, I just look at them as like really\u2026I pray to God, \u201cLet me see people the way you see people,\u201d and when I pray that, be careful what you pray for because he answered it.<\/p>\n<p>And so I see that role potential, role purpose, I see too much good sometimes.\u00a0Sometimes I have to be like \u201cRun, Forrest, run\u201d when I see some people that don\u2019t, but it\u2019s because I\u2019ve trained myself to do that.\u00a0 So when I look at someone, I don\u2019t speak to their insecurity, to their power.\u00a0 I can see all the bullcrap and say, \u201cGod, this person is naturally good at, fill in the blank.\u201d \u00a0And sometimes it\u2019s just, \u201cOh my gosh, have you ever thought of\u2026and whatever, fill in the blank.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s not about really me; it\u2019s just about being able to notice something and being able to communicate that.\u00a0 That\u2019s it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea<\/strong>:\u00a0It\u2019s like opening up doors for people.\u00a0I liken it to, you know, somebody\u2026it\u2019s almost like people are inside of their own jail cells and there\u2019s no lock and all I\u2019m doing is coming over and open up the doors so they can walk out like, \u201cHey, did you know that this is open?\u00a0 Look at all the possibilities.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, a lot of times, I _____ things like this and your podcast and I need a pick me up.\u00a0I need a _____.\u00a0 I need a good workout and that helps, but the magic is not in us.\u00a0 It\u2019s in us.\u00a0We already have it in us.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0OK, so I know that experiencing it though, like actually taking the steps actually doing the thing is such a huge piece of it.\u00a0 Even in the things that you\u2019re working on now, do you have any examples of\u2026or stories that you want to share of how you help people take those steps?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure!\u00a0Yeah, let me get you a personal story because once you take steps, it\u2019s easier to take more steps.\u00a0 People that take chances and step out on faith take more chances and take more chances and step out on faith more and more because they\u2019ve built up their faith muscle, OK?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0Yeah.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 So for me now to jump off a cliff and do something crazy and out of the box is a lot easier for me now.\u00a0 It\u2019s not as risky.\u00a0 It\u2019s not as scary because I\u2019ve done it.\u00a0 But I remember the first time I did it, OK.\u00a0 I wanted to ask, I said, \u201cOK, I had this little singing group girls, we\u2019re traveling around church to church.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0Love it!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel<\/strong>:\u00a0 Community center to community center or _____.\u00a0 We were producing our own CDs, we\u2019re writing our own music, middle-aged women.\u00a0I had two at home, little infants and I said to myself, I\u2019ll never forget it, I said, \u201cI\u2019m gonna take this to the next level.\u201d\u00a0 OK, let\u2019s talk about stay-at-home mom, you know, sagging boobs, you know, your hind end and everything.\u00a0 So you take about three women like that out there trying to make it in the music world where everything is grabbing your crotch and butt naked.<\/p>\n<p>So here we go and I said, \u201cI\u2019m gonna take this to the next level.\u201d\u00a0 I said \u201cI wanted to have a reality show.\u201d\u00a0 Girl, I know nothing about nothing.\u00a0 I know nothing, OK.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea<\/strong>:\u00a0Except that you&#8217;re brilliant, right?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel<\/strong>:\u00a0 Well\u2026<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0You just knew you got it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 I knew I had something to say.\u00a0 I just knew I had something to say.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know who wanted to listen, but I remember doing a little video in my girlfriend\u2019s basement for this little TV show that ended up being Kim of Queens, by the way.\u00a0 I said, \u201cI\u2019m going to take it to another\u2026\u201d\u00a0 I remember sending it out to all these producers.<\/p>\n<p>Long story short, we got the show, you know, two years later.\u00a0 People don\u2019t know that the _____ takes forever _____ and this producer; I met with this producer in Hollywood.\u00a0 Again, air quotes I\u2019m doing right here.\u00a0 And I remember feeling like I was the dumbest idiot of what the heck have I got myself into, scariest thing.\u00a0 I wanted to quit because I thought they were so smart and they were telling me, \u201cYou gotta do this, you gotta do this, and you gotta do this.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And I will never forget on set one day, I looked at this guy and then someone will tell you something.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know where it came from but I knew it was wrong, I said, \u201cI\u2019m not gonna sit here and fight with these little girls and fight with these moms and fight with you.\u00a0You can either do the show the way you wanna do it and get somebody else or get the heck out of my building.\u201d\u00a0Girl, I don\u2019t even know where that came from.<\/p>\n<p>I was scared to death to even say it but I knew if I didn\u2019t take that step up and get this dude straight, my career will never happen.\u00a0 This is like what, 39.\u00a0 I\u2019m not talking like I was 20, almost a 40-year-old woman sitting here letting this dude just tell me what the heck I am and who I am.\u00a0 So that moment, you\u2019ve got to take that first step.\u00a0 So you\u2019ve got in total fear in total, \u201cOh my gosh, if I piss this guy off, he\u2019ll never hire me again.\u201d\u00a0 But you have to know yourself and know your worth and know that you\u2019re worthy and step out and be who you are whether they like it or not.<\/p>\n<p>When you do that that\u2019s when your when your confidence will rise.\u00a0 It will get easier to take those jumps.\u00a0 It will get easier to invest and bet on yourself, you know.\u00a0I mean, some people, it\u2019s doing a podcast.\u00a0 Some people, it\u2019s going back to the school.\u00a0 I mean, fill in the blank, whatever that thing is for you, that is holding you back and you know what it is because if you listen to this podcast, you know exactly what I\u2019m talking about.\u00a0 There\u2019s that one thing that you say, \u201cIf I don\u2019t do this, it\u2019s over.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And let me tell you something, you get a lot of chances in this life, take one for the love of God.\u00a0 Take one.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0I\u2019m listening to the people who are saying though, but what if this, this, this, or this happens, but this, this, and this are on my way?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>OK, well, you can\u2019t live your life on what ifs.\u00a0 You\u2019re not going to get married, what if you get divorced?\u00a0 You\u2019re not going to have a baby, what if the baby dies during childbirth?\u00a0 What if you\u2019re not going to\u2026you know, you can\u2019t what if your life you, you just can\u2019t.\u00a0 At some point you have to do something or you\u2019re going to be just reading books and make again vision boards the rest of your life.\u00a0 OK, here\u2019s an example.\u00a0 I hear more people saying, I\u2019m making vision boards.\u00a0 Well, my vision board, I haven\u2019t had a chance to make it.\u00a0I\u2019ve been so busy since January.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea<\/strong>:\u00a0I love that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 OK, quit preparing and start doing because I\u2019ll tell you this, once you take a step and you do like when I told that joke, this _____, either you get on board or don\u2019t.\u00a0That\u2019s when the show popped.\u00a0That\u2019s when we got second season, and now this guy\u2019s a good friend.\u00a0 He texts me and says, \u201cOh my God, I wish I could work with you again, blah, blah.\u201d\u00a0That\u2019s never going to happen but \u201cOh my God, we should work for you.\u201d\u00a0 You know, you have to do something and you have to believe in yourself enough to do it or nobody\u2019s going to believe in you.\u00a0 Quit working your vision board, honey, and reading your books.\u00a0Get up there and check _____, do something.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0I love it.\u00a0 I love that.\u00a0 Do you think that that part of part of what we do when we\u2026OK, here.\u00a0 I think one of the things that we\u2019re afraid of is, you know, like we\u2019re going to polarize people, like some people won\u2019t like me.\u00a0So talk to me about that like polarizing people.\u00a0 Surely not everybody is into Kim Gravel, you know like\u2026<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 No!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0Who is Kim Gravel\u2019s audience and why do why do you speak to them and not everybody else?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 OK, so look, I know everybody doesn\u2019t like me.\u00a0 I always say this, if you don\u2019t like me, that\u2019s fine.\u00a0 I still love you.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t matter.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t matter who likes you.\u00a0 The only person that matter who likes you is you.\u00a0 And this is the thing, I like me.\u00a0 It\u2019s been a long journey and I don\u2019t like the way I look all the time.\u00a0 I don\u2019t like the way what I say all the time.\u00a0I don\u2019t like the way I act all the time, but when it comes down to a little bit in my heart and soul, I do like me and I hope my children like me.\u00a0 But if they don\u2019t, which they don\u2019t right now because, you know, they\u2019re supposed to when they get older.\u00a0 That\u2019s fine because I still love them.<\/p>\n<p>You got to please you, and that sounds narcissistic but it all goes back to being worthy.\u00a0 Being worthy and you believing that you\u2019re worthy has nothing really to do with you, and I hate talking super spiritual but I know\u2026<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0No, it\u2019s totally fine here.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel<\/strong>:\u00a0 It\u2019s just what I know.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know psychology.\u00a0 This is what I know.\u00a0 I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and I\u2019m an individual and I know that there\u2019s nobody else like me.\u00a0 So if I\u2019m here, I know that he loves me, accepts me, likes me, and I\u2019m worthy.\u00a0And so when you know that you\u2019re worthy and you feel that self-worth coming from something bigger than you, it has nothing to do with people\u2019s opinions or even your own, or even your mom\u2019s and dad\u2019s or even your husband\u2019s or whatever then it\u2019s so much easier to not care.\u00a0 I don\u2019t say not care because I think that\u2019s a lie because I do care what people think, but I don\u2019t stay there.\u00a0 Does that make sense?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0Well, it could be that too that you\u2019re driven by such a purpose by that purpose.\u00a0 You\u2019re secure in the love.\u00a0 You\u2019re driven by the purpose, and so you\u2019re willing to sacrifice the fact that people might not like you.\u00a0 What do you think?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 I love that because when you\u2019re passionate about something, nobody can tell you anything.\u00a0I remember when I started selling on QVC and the tops or the jeans or whatever that I would sell that I was passionate about that would sell out.\u00a0 And the tops I was not crazy about, I couldn\u2019t sit there and lie and be unauthentic.\u00a0 I could, I could go, \u201cOh, this is a great top.\u201d\u00a0 And I would say that but everybody knew.\u00a0 They didn\u2019t know why they did know.\u00a0 So they didn\u2019t believe me, they didn\u2019t say, \u201cOh my gosh, she\u2019s lying.\u201d\u00a0You can just feel that, you know, what I\u2019m saying?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0I do.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 So when I\u2019m passionate about something, you can\u2019t tell me nothing, I\u2019m a bulldog.\u00a0I\u2019m a bulldozer.\u00a0 And I\u2019ve seen that in so many people, like in politics, people get so freaking passionate about politics and I do not know why it is this crooked industry on the planet.\u00a0 But they get so passionate about it but that\u2019s why they\u2019re willing to fight to the end for it.\u00a0 You got to figure out what you\u2019re passionate about and do it.\u00a0 If you\u2019re not, it\u2019ll be stale.\u00a0 It won\u2019t be authentic.\u00a0 It won\u2019t be true.\u00a0 Does that make sense?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0Yeah, I mean it brings us right back to where we began with your why, why you are here and what you\u2019re going to do about it.\u00a0 That\u2019s essentially it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 That\u2019s everything.\u00a0 And I just didn\u2019t know if your only reason here is to really figure that people think is supposed to get married and have children, although that\u2019s fantastic and I love my children and that\u2019s my biggest job and responsibility right now.\u00a0And they\u2019re always going to be my children but that\u2019s just for a season, OK?\u00a0 I asked people, \u201cWhat do you call to do?\u00a0 \u201cI meant to be a wife.\u201d\u00a0 No, no, no, no, nope.\u00a0 \u201cI meant to be a mom.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0It\u2019s our role.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 No, that\u2019s not it, sorry.\u00a0 And they get mad at me.\u00a0 Some people say \u201cKim, you\u2019re just crazy.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m like \u201cYou\u2019re not here to be a mom.\u00a0 That\u2019s not your job.\u00a0 That\u2019s not why you\u2019re put here.\u00a0 You get to do that as a woman, what a blessing and what an absolute huge responsibility and it\u2019s your most important responsibility while they\u2019re in those formative years but your kids are going to be gone in a short amount of time.\u00a0What you\u2019re gonna do with the rest of your life and the best thing you can do for your children is to have purpose so that they can recognize.\u201d\u00a0 They didn\u2019t even know they were doing it.\u00a0 They didn\u2019t even know they were doing it back in the day.\u00a0 I think it\u2019s even harder now to find your purpose than it was back when you just had to survive, you know.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0Sure!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 And when our parents were coming up, they just work, you know.\u00a0 Now, there\u2019s so much information and I\u2019d say information, not knowledge.\u00a0 There\u2019s so much coming that people are so confused, depressed, and it\u2019s just because they\u2019re sitting there watching on YouTube, Instagram, and Facebook.\u00a0 Other people leaving out their purposes instead of them getting about theirs, so bottom line is I should\u2019ve been a preacher because that\u2019s all I\u2019ve done so far.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0Oh, no, no, no.\u00a0 I love it.\u00a0 No, this is so fun.\u00a0 I mean you are a preacher.\u00a0 I mean in a sense, you know?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel<\/strong>:\u00a0 Yeah, yeah.\u00a0I miss that.\u00a0 I told you I miss my calling.\u00a0 I was told when I was a southern Baptist girl, you can\u2019t preach, you\u2019d be quiet.\u00a0 I should\u2019ve never done that, biggest mistake.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0Yeah.\u00a0 I think for me, hearing that and feeling that sense of there\u2019s no opportunity here in the church for your voice.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if anybody wants to hear that from me but yeah, that definitely motivated me to move towards business so\u2026<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah and let me tell you something.\u00a0 Let me tell you all these women out here listening to the entrepreneurs that don\u2019t think they had business to send them, you do.\u00a0 You sound certainly do and there\u2019s plenty of room out there for all of us and we\u2019re supposed to have a voice in business.\u00a0 The marketplace is dying for women.\u00a0 I cannot tell you how many business meetings I\u2019ve set and they\u2019re like, \u201cWell, we want to sell to Susie, The Soccer Mom.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And I got one now and I can\u2019t really get into it.\u00a0 One is like \u201cWe wanna to sell to Liz and Elizabeth.\u00a0 \u201cWe wanna to sell to the mom and the daughter.\u201d\u00a0 We\u2019re always the people that they want to get our money.\u00a0 So you better get about getting your business that sell to each other because money in this world gives you a lot of seats at the table and that\u2019s what women need.\u00a0Entrepreneurship and money and business gets you tons of seats at the table.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0It changes the game.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel<\/strong>:\u00a0 It changes the game, right.\u00a0 And that\u2019s what we should be teaching our young girls in college is how to\u2026because we the workers, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, we don\u2019t want to get it done.\u201d\u00a0 So I\u2019d love to see women take that part of who they are and put it in more of an entrepreneurial vein and get more seats at the table that way.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0Wow!\u00a0 This has been a really great, fun conversation, Kim, and inspiring.\u00a0Is there any one thing that you would like to leave with the listener, like some sort of a call to action or thought that you want to leave with them?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel<\/strong>:\u00a0 Yeah, I do.\u00a0My motto is if no one\u2019s going to encourage you, encourage yourself.\u00a0 Take responsibility for your own feelings, thoughts, actions, and spiritual wellbeing, your soul.\u00a0 Because I will say this, the drought is over.\u00a0 The days of being less bad and depressed and fatigued and in debt and all of that is over.\u00a0 It\u2019s time for us to stand up and it\u2019s time for you to stand up and take your rightful place in this thing called life, because we need you and I say that all the time, \u201cI need you.\u201d\u00a0 You know what I\u2019m saying?<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s no one person who has it all together.\u00a0 We all have something together that we can all collectively share together.\u00a0So we need you!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0Alright, Kim, where should people look for Kim Gravel?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, just go to kimgravel.com, you\u2019ll find something there.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0You\u2019ll find a lot there.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019ll find something there for you and if not, you\u2019ve been blessed.\u00a0 I&#8217;m telling you what\u2019s you\u2019re doing, girl, with this podcast, do it.\u00a0 Do it, I love it!\u00a0 This is the future.\u00a0 And keep communicating because we need it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0Yeah, thank you!\u00a0 Well, thank you for your voice of influence in the world.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Kim Gravel:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, my pleasure, and I love you guys and thanks for having me, girl.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Andrea:<\/strong>\u00a0Yeah!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>END<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Kim Gravel is a veteran tv host, entrepreneur, public speaker, and life coach who\u2019s appeared on The Steve Harvey Show and was regularly featured on SiriusXM\u2019s Dirty Pop with Lance Bass. Through her own hit show, Kim of Queens, she was able to entertain audiences with her quick wit and vivacious storytelling. In just two [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3152,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[276],"tags":[453,529,530,269,241,270],"class_list":["post-3151","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-podcast","tag-andrea-joy-wenburg","tag-kim-gravel","tag-kim-of-queens","tag-podcast","tag-self-expression","tag-voice-of-influence"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/andreajoywenburg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/Kim-78-FB.jpg?fit=810%2C450&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6jZPB-OP","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/andreajoywenburg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3151","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/andreajoywenburg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/andreajoywenburg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andreajoywenburg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andreajoywenburg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3151"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/andreajoywenburg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3151\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3154,"href":"https:\/\/andreajoywenburg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3151\/revisions\/3154"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andreajoywenburg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3152"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/andreajoywenburg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3151"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andreajoywenburg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3151"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/andreajoywenburg.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3151"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}